The Gaze of Disowned Shame
There’s a moment in the journey of inner awakening where the light of awareness turns inward. A place often shrouded in secrecy, where the parts of yourself you’ve hidden away become unmasked. What’s revealed can be unsettling — the shame, guilt, and self-rejection that haunt the depths of your psyche. Encountering this inner entity, stripped of its disguise, becomes an intense confrontation: you face your own shadow.
Yet, when you meet this shadow, it does not recoil, flinch, or fade away. It simply observes you, raw and unmoved, reflecting the energy you’ve poured into rejecting it. For many, this experience feels like staring into an unbroken mirror, one that reflects not just the image you’ve created for the world, but the essence of what’s been buried, judged, and cast away.
When people speak of self-acceptance, it’s easy to imagine embracing the pleasant or polished parts of one’s persona. But the journey of true self-integration calls for embracing what is most despised. The parts labelled as unworthy, inadequate, or unforgivable become the gateway to your deepest transformation. Until then, they stare back with unblinking eyes — patiently awaiting recognition.
But why is this encounter necessary?
The disowned aspects of yourself hold immense power. They are reservoirs of energy locked behind the walls of judgment and fear. Every time they’re denied, they exert their influence unconsciously, driving reactions, decisions, and emotional patterns. The paradox is that the more they’re pushed away, the more they define your behaviour.
To stare at your shame is to feel its immensity. But beyond the discomfort, there is a subtle alchemy taking place. Each moment of presence, without rejection or justification, melts the rigidity of these self-imposed barriers. The shame becomes less monstrous. The guilt becomes less consuming. And in its place emerges a profound understanding: these shadows are not enemies but wounded parts of your psyche yearning for reintegration.
Facing your shame isn’t about confronting a malicious force. It’s about witnessing a fragmented self, desperately wanting to be seen and acknowledged. When fully embraced, these darkened corners of the mind cease to resist, and their power transforms into clarity, strength, and authentic self-expression.
This act of presence is not about seeking remorse or forgiveness. It’s about witnessing without the need for resolution. It’s about being so fully present that you pierce through the veil of judgment and glimpse the raw humanity of your being. That which once seemed abhorrent softens under the gaze of true self-compassion.
Ultimately, this process reshapes your sense of identity. No longer chained to a cycle of rejection and self-criticism, you stand free, more whole, and more alive. The shame that once stared back unrelentingly, feeling no remorse, becomes a quiet reminder that every part of you — no matter how dark — serves as a key to your liberation.
Morgan O. Smith
Yinnergy Meditation, Spiritual Life Coaching & My Book, Bodhi in the Brain…Available Now!
Morgan O. Smith 