A Journey Beyond Words
Nothing I say will ever fully convey what transpired on December 14, 2019. As I sat in my daily meditation, an extraordinary transformation began without effort. In an instant, I was engulfed by an indescribably bright white light, a radiance comparable to a thousand suns. It was so intense it nearly blinded me. As I entered this pure illumination, I faced an ocean of pure consciousness. Gazing at this boundless expanse, I felt myself merging with it until there was no longer a distinction between me and this ocean. At that moment, I fully surrendered. I lost my sense of self as it merged with this ocean of pure consciousness. I had become consciousness itself—a moving body of perfectly still water, free from the properties of wetness.
In this state, I realized I was the Source itself. The Alpha and the Omega, the beginningless beginning and the endless end. I transcended all space and time. I was all shape and form, yet formless. I embodied everything—past, present, and future. I felt as if I were the center of a black hole and the black hole itself. I was pregnant with all possibilities: the possible, the impossible, the probable and the improbable. I was both nothing and everything. As nothing, I was the void, emptiness, Sunyata. As everything, I encompassed all existence and nonexistence.
As all existence, I was the macro and the micro, all dimensions, and all events. I was every action, every noun, and every verb. I was every person, place, and thing. I was every creature, great and small. I was everything subjective and objective. I was everything on this planet, in the solar system, galaxy, and all galaxies. I was the universe itself, including the multiverse. I was every star that ever existed and every particle of stardust. I was every drop of rain, every grain of sand, every blade of grass. I was every microscopic organism, all quantum fields, and vibrating strings. I was every human being that ever lived.
As the entire multiverse, I witnessed my birth and death for eternity, as eternity. I saw myself as every single Big Bang that ever occurred and will occur. I was both life and death, witnessing every birth, death, and rebirth not just of sentient beings, but of the universe itself. I was fully omnipresent, everywhere at once, yet nowhere. I became the everywhere, every when, and everyone. I was all matter and all energy. I was every single particle and every single wave. I was all feelings, emotions, senses, and subtle bodies. I was all peak experiences, all pleasure and pain. I was all realms and dimensions. I was both God and man, both soul and spirit. I was all bliss, consciousness, and existence. I was the entire ground of all being. I was all-knowing God itself. I was the never-born and the never-dying. I was pure manifestation itself.
All of this was experienced simultaneously, in a state of total nondual suchness. It was an experience of absolutely everything and nothing, with no distinctions, yet with all distinctions. At that moment, everything was of the same source. I experienced the beauty of all religions glorified in my name, all philosophy, all fields of knowledge. Every mystery unsolved. Every song ever written and those yet to be written. Every invention. I was the spark of every surprise. I witnessed all of history and all future events. I was infinite. I was the Self. The I Am. The I Am That. I was both Atman and Brahman. I was both the cause and the effect. Yet, I saw nothing. There was nothing to see because nothing existed outside of me. All that existed was The Self. The Absolute of The Absolute. I was eternity. I experienced everything as both diversity and singularity. I was complete. I was whole. I had nothing to lose and nothing to gain. I was free from all suffering, free from all bondage. The only thing experienced was Samsara and Moksha, both Samsara and Nirvana. I was free from my existence, yet I was existence itself. At that moment, I knew and still without a shadow of a doubt who and what I am.
As the nondual experience began to dissipate and I became aware of my physical body, I felt broken. But in a good way. My heart was bent in two as love flowed throughout every artery. All of a sudden, I felt a force from the base of my spine pushing upwards through my spinal column. It felt as if a giant python was forcing its way up my spine, activating all my nerve endings. Every vein, nerve, meridian, and nadi burst with life-force energy. This python of energy surged through my spine and exploded out of the top of my head. It felt as if trillions of lotus petals of pure light were bursting from my crown, pouring out rapidly and dissipating as they hit the ground.
My physical body went into full spasm. At that moment, I lost control of all my bodily functions, but subjectively, my body felt like it was moving like the feminine serpent and every time I moved the entire universe moved with me. And when the universe moved, I moved with it. As I moved in this fashion, I felt like my body was performing every asana and every mudra simultaneously. At that moment, it felt as if my entire body represented different aspects of the universe. As I somehow performed every pose at once, I felt like I was the entire physical universe tied in a single knot. As this single knot, I was non-local. Every single facet of my body occupied the same space. For the first time in all my years of meditative practice, I finally understood the meaning of Yoga with a capital Y. From the outside, I was having a full spasm. I was drooling from my mouth, laughing hysterically from the depths of my gut while crying tears of exceeding joy. As I lay on the ground, my body moving uncontrollably, every atom, every molecule, and every cell blossomed into the most beautiful flowers. And as they bloomed, at once, they all shouted with a loud voice in every single human tongue, “I am Brahman!”
Morgan O. Smith
Yinnergy Meditation, Spiritual Life Coaching & My Book, Bodhi in the Brain…Available Now!
https://linktr.ee/morganosmith
Morgan O. Smith 